It is important to repeat the first two steps. Remember that feelings of bitterness and resentment may resurface from time to time. This idea helps us consider the perspective of the person who hurt us and causes us to see the hurt that person has endured.ģ. Pray for those who hurt you, as Jesus instructed his disciples. This is essentially what the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is all about.Ģ. God is the example of forgiving, not by ignoring our offense, but by taking on himself the penalty we deserve. Choose to forgive remembering that God offers forgiveness to us. How is it possible to do good to those who treat us badly without God’s help? Chip Ingram, a Christian teacher, suggests three steps.ġ. Many feel that it is impossible to let go of feelings of anger and resentment without supernatural help. Focus on a fuller understanding of the story you experienced and look for ways to be grateful.

Instead of mentally replaying your hurt, seek out new ways to get what you want. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better.ĥ. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight or fight response, such as a breathing exercise, counting, or walking away to cool down. It is up to you, not someone else to resolve it. While another person’s actions caused you pain, the pain you have is your own. But it can bring you to a new understanding of that person and yourself.ģ. Forgiving may not restore the relationship nor does it overlook the offense. Forgiving another person for the wrong they did to you will bring you peace. Consider sharing what happened to you to a couple of trusted friends.Ģ. Recognize and name the hurt you feel and what others did to cause the hurt. The following list is a condensed version of the article in Psychology Today.ġ. Psychology Today offers 9 Steps to Forgiveness, by Marilyn Mitchell, MD.

It does not mean that we forget or that we don’t protect ourselves from those who harm us. We decide to let go of the anger and resentment we feel. The main question is, how can we forgive those who have hurt us? To forgive means that we are not going to seek revenge on the person who hurt us. While it is impossible to get through life without being hurt by another person, our own emotional healing and growth are up to ourselves. It is no secret that feelings of bitterness, anger, and resentment cripple our relationships with others and affects our own emotional, mental, and sometimes, physical health.

Chip ingram emotional healing